Lord, what do You want Your children to know?

 1. "I am God." - Isaiah 45:3-7, 46:8-10

2. You are My children. - Isaiah 43:1-3

3. "I have loved you with an everlasting love." - Jeremiah 31:3

4. "I will never leave you nor forsake you." - Hebrews 13:5

5. "I will rescue you and sustain you." - Isaiah 46:4

6. I am the God of all comfort. - 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

7. "As far as the east is from the west I will remember your sins no more." - Isaiah 43:25, Psalms 103:12

8. "Come to Me all who are weary and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

9. I will teach you in the way you should go. - Psalms 32:8

10. I love you so much, that I gave you My Son. - John 3:16

11. I am your Shepherd, therefore, you lack nothing. - Psalms 23:1

12. I want you to personally know the depth, width, height and length of the love I have for you. - Ephesians 3:18-19

God, continue to draw us near to You. May we stop resisting Your call to us and surrender so that You can fill the deep longing in our souls. Please comfort and keep us Lord. Whisper sweet somethings in our ears. Help us to embrace Your gifts of rest and love, peace and mercy. increase our faith in You, Lord.

All of this for Your glory, honor and joy. Amen.

The Promise of Immanuel

"Obey My voice, and I will be your God, and you shall be My people. And walk in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well with you." Jeremiah 31:33

"As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you." - Joshua 1:5

"'...and they shall call His name Immanuel,' which is translated, 'God with us.'" Matthew 1:22-23

"...and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20



As I was preparing for work this morning I began thinking about family and friends who had been with us through tough situations, cross-country moves, unexpected diagnoses and events that shook us to the core. When I was seven, my family moved hundreds of miles away from extended family and friends because my father got a better job. We were one of a handful of black families in our town and I was the first black child in my school. I clearly remember my first day when no one spoke to me until we lined up to go home. A girl standing in front of me with long orange (strawberry blond) braids and spots (my first encounter with freckles) on her face turned to me and said, "My name is Mary Jean. I'm bringing a ball to school tomorrow. Will you play with me?" My first friend in a strange place. Immanuel - God with us.

The beauty of this relocation was that my family was warmly accepted into our church and I was accepted in its school. Many of my new friends' parents became my parents' friends and whenever there was a family in need, we were all there for each other. Immanuel - God with us.

When I went off to college, I went from living a sheltered life to a new freedom and exposure to people from all over the world. I wasn't under my parents' watchful eyes and had the freedom to explore the world around me. I lived through some unsafe and painful situations, but God spared me. Immanuel - God with us.

Years later, I relocated to the southwest and watched how God blessed my family with friends and teachers who helped us adjust to a new life in a new city. We were cared for when disabilities and illnesses were diagnosed and blessed by way of hand-holding, Starbucks coffee, manicures, mini celebrations, promotions and love. Immanuel - God with us.

In this present season of my life, I believe God has called me to minister to His daughters in a unique way and every time I sit before Him asking how, instead of answering with a plan, He gives me visions of what it will be. The visions keep coming and the understanding that this ministry is bigger than I will ever be keeps growing. I continually question if I am qualified or ready and keep thinking there is more I need to do before the ministry will come together. The larger it gets, the more unqualified I feel. But God has a plan and a way of letting me know Who is able to take the impossible and blow it out of the water! It's not me; it's Immanuel - God with me.

As I was reflecting on where we have been God said, "Didn't I take care of you in the past? Don't you think I will take care of you in this ministry, too?" Whew! Knocked to my knees with this truth and grateful for His words of revelation and assurance. This ministry is not about me and what I am able to accomplish. It is about God doing in and through me for His glory. He opens the doors, enables, provides, covers and keeps. At the end of myself I am weak, but in this place God is able to do exceeding abundantly by the power that is within me (Ephesians 3:20). Immanuel - God with me.

The Apostle Paul said that he was able to do all things through Christ who strengthened him (Phil 4:13). Paul experienced great hardship, but he persevered because he knew the power within him, the power of the Holy Spirit, would enable him to endure as Christ did. Immanuel - God was with him.

As I continue to prepare and connect with others for this God-designed ministry, I pray that I will always remember Immanuel - God is with me, that I belong to Him and that His daughters will know the same.

Be blessed,
Monica

Letting Go for Greater - Jesus

"...who being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross." Philippians 2:6-8 (NKJV)

"...but whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant. And, whoever of you desires to be first shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and give His life  ransom for many." Mark 10:43-45 (NKJV)

"Oh My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will." Matthew 26:39 (NKJV)


Part of this letting go phase of my life is surrendering my plans and understanding as to how I should start and build the ministry God has called me to. I have worked for a small business owner for several years and learned the ropes of sustaining something successful in the marketplace - hustle. I have a great many skills and extensive training under my belt and I am always eager to learn more. I am equipped and qualified with knowledge, experience and ideas as to how this should look and be done. But God has a different plan that is the opposite of my worldly knowledge and understanding.

If we examine God's plan for salvation using Christ as a sacrifice, our common sense and understanding would rally that His great work could have been done without persecution and bloodshed. Jesus could have kept His deity and saved Himself. He was God! But, He surrendered His all, accepted His task, let go of what was expected, refused to resist what was His reality of persecution and a slow, agonizing death for something greater. Obedience to and pleasing the Father, salvation, reconciliation, restoration, freedom, righteousness, and a permanent unity between God and humanity are the greater He lived and died for.

In this transition into new life in Christ, I am learning that like Him, my power is not in myself but in Him. The route for the fulfillment of my call is to be done His way, not necessarily the way of my understanding and need. The complaining, whining and fretting needs to cease. Just as Jesus' mission was God's plan and in His control, my mission is to be carried out the same way. "A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master"(Matthew 10:24). Dying to self gets clearer and clearer the greater the letting go.

The challenge in this lesson is how do you know when to let go and when to plow ahead? For me, it has been when I stop creating my noise of frustration and disappointment. Instantly there is zero tension and chaos. When I let go of what I think should be a part of this ministry, especially what I dread doing, there is a peace in my spirit. I accept His invitation given in Matthew 11:28-30 and rest comes. A lighter yoke is seen and there is assurance that what is seen is the answer. There is no excess attached to it. The core is pure and simple. Jesus lived to show us surrender (a death to self) and died to give us new life in Himself. Life for death and death for life.

As you learn to let go of what God is urging or nudging you to surrender, examine what challenges you? What is this letting go costing you in relationships, time, money, service, etc.? I encourage you to be courageous in sharing your journey here as it may give someone else the permission and courage they need to let go. And if I can pray for you along the way, it would be my pleasure!

Be blessed in Him,
Monica

Letting Go for Greater - Abraham

"Now the Lord had said to Abram: 'Get out of your country, from your family and from your father's house, to a land that I will show you. I will make you a great nation; I will bless you and make your name great; and you shall be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and I will curse him who curses you; and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.' Then Abram took Sarai his wife and Lot his brother's son, and all their possessions that they had gathered, and the people whom they had acquired in Haran, and they departed to go to the land of Canaan." Genesis 12:1-3, 5 NKJV

Abram and his family embark on a journey that requires them to let go of all that is familiar and comfortable to them. The Bible does not tell us if Abram questioned God. It just says he did what God commanded. If God commanded you to leave all you have known, your beloved comfort zone would you go? What if He asked you to let go of your dreams, goals and plans for the future? Would you say "yes"?

At the beginning of this year, I felt that my "word" for the year was "new." Never did I expect the power that would come from studying examples of that word in the Bible and how it would change my life. Throughout the year I have asked God to bring new into my life and He has brought me to places where I have had to make the decision to follow Him or remain where I was. Today I am slowly letting go of who and what no longer serves the life God has called me to live.

This new way of living has been difficult as I am accustomed to having an explainable plan in case someone asks, and I don't have one. Not having a plan of action or goals looks like a blank piece of paper to me, but I am discovering that this blank space can represent nothing or the whole world is possible. That space can be perceived as bondage or freedom. But in this season of life I am applying the instruction, "be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2) and viewing that blank space as an adventure.  Where will God lead? Who will come into my life and what relationships will be no more? How will I grow in Him? How much more of Him will I come to know? Normally I would be a wreck and remain stuck, but this time I have decided to pursue the longings in my heart.

Over the next few weeks, I will share what God is teaching me on this journey to a new life in Him, what it means to let go, how to follow Him and practice the art of receiving. So I am stepping into the new with nervous anticipation, wonder and gratitude. I hope you will join me, and if God is urging or leading you into something new please share your lessons and discoveries.

May you be blessed along the way.

Monica

A Lesson in Unlearning Unworthiness

You never know where God might lead, but you can count on the path always leading to Him. In his book, My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers writes about disillusionment and how Jesus did not put His confidence in man. Christ knew the power and ability required to never disappoint a human being could only be handled by God.

Chambers wrote, "many of the things in life that inflict the greatest injury, grief or pain, stem from the fact that we suffer from illusions." Each of us has expectations of others and we see what we want or need to see in each other. I may meet some one's immediate or deep need at some point in their lives and they may have the expectation (intentionally or unintentionally) that I will always meet their need in the same measure or greater. It is impossible for any human being to accomplish this and yet, we do this to ourselves and each other daily.

This morning's lesson uncovered the truth that God led me to where I am living now so that I could heal from my deepest wound - a belief of unworthiness based on the illusion that I could in my own strength measure up to another person's expectations and needs.

For my entire life it seemed that I always missed this person's mark, no matter my intentions or how perfectly my efforts were executed. I have been met with disappointment, a condemning tone of voice, and words sharp enough to cut through bone. I have believed I am unworthy of any good, success or blessing because I missed this person's expectations. Anything bad or wrong that happened to me had to be my fault because of what I had done in the past, whether related or not.

Now, I have also had unrealistic expectations of this person as well. I believed that if I followed through and acted accordingly on their expectations, I would be rewarded with praise and love. I was rewarded and praised, but not always and not always when I needed it. I expected this person to fulfill my needs and validate me as a person.

The lesson I am learning is that disillusionment comes when our expectations are not being met. This is reality at its best. When disillusioned we can see people and ourselves as we really are. The challenge we must face for healing and abundant living comes in releasing ourselves and each other from unrealistic expectations or deep needs. This takes courage - courage to unlearn what we have practiced throughout our lives and learning anew how to live, trusting God to meet our deepest needs.

When God calls you to do or be something for Him, do not be surprised when He takes you down a path that doesn't make sense. When I first moved here, I kept hearing, "Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light" (Mt 11:28-30). I was exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically when I first moved here, so I believed those words were a perfect fit. Six years later, I realize Christ's invitation has become the solid foundation I need to stand in through my healing, unlearning and new learning process.

His invitation for rest and a lighter yoke has offered and still offers a safe place for laying down everything we carry - shame, humiliation, despair, disappointment, fear, worry, surrender, other people's burdens and fulfillment of expectations. He offers a safe place to be as broken as we are so that He can meet our deepest needs. Only He has the patience, comfort, timing, grace, and love we seek for fulfillment.

Today I gained a greater understanding that when Christ died He took on my soul ache and my deepest need for acceptance and love. He took on every bit of despair and bafflement, every deep cutting wound and bore them upon Himself.

For years I believed the enemy's lies just like Eve, but now I am becoming a new Eve - whole, worthy and more than enough. It is in Christ that we are whole and have a safe place to rest. He took on the sins and soul ache of all those who have come before us as well as our own and those to come after us. His invitation has been extended to all. This is grace.


Monica

To Stand in Him

"I want to know Jesus Christ - yes to know the power of His resurrection and participation in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:10-14

This month on She Loves Magazine, the theme is "STAND." Today readers were asked to think about what stand means to them. I think this is a good word for us to ponder on a regular basis, if not daily, for it is necessary for moment by moment living.

For me, to stand is to do what you have to do to believe, and:

Never Stop - when your vision or dream gets blurry, dark or completely disappears or when all hell breaks loose in your life. When people try to put you in a box so they can understand or "handle" who you are and what you do. When they tell you you can't because of who they believe you are or your past experiences.

Keep Believing - even if you are the only one and the dream or vision won't go away. When you think you have nothing to make it happen in the ways you know how and understand. When you are alone, because there will be times when you will be.

Know Him - because He will meet you when you least expect Him and in ways that are so small, but just right. Because you will need to hold on to Him for dear life, sanity and when you've reached your wits end. Know this - He wants you, loves you and He's got this!

Embrace Him and all the good He brings. Savor it and give thanks. It is the sweet confirmation you will need on this journey. God is faithful and He is with you.

Be blessed,
Monica

What Are You Praying For, God or Yourself?

I've been going through a tough time emotionally, mentally, spiritually and financially and realized after reading  The Signature of Jesus by Brennan Manning (for the second time) that my circumstances may have something to do with my prayers. I have been told many times that God always answers prayers. Today I learned more deeply that God does answer our prayers, but not always in the ways we would choose, and that I am not a failure because I suffer and experience tough circumstances.

In his book, Manning shares that we may go through a period of darkness and that we should embrace it because this may be God's way of answering our prayers. We may have prayed for greater trust in Him, humility or greater faith. To answer us, God may lead us through circumstances that are beyond our control so that we may come to realize exactly who we are - saved sinners dependent upon Him for endurance, provision, safe-keeping and rest.

Reflecting on this discovery, I posed Manning's questions - do I want what God can give me when I pray or do I want God Himself? My soul says more of God, but my worldly understanding of my circumstances says I need to survive in this world. I should ask for what He can provide with only a smidgen of Himself which is all I can handle. I can't handle or serve both.

When I choose to follow the longing in my soul and I ask for more of Him, I sometimes experience loneliness or isolation because I forget that more of Him means substitutes have to go. I have to let go to receive. I can't hold on to all that I think I need to fulfill me and grab onto the One who can be everything to me. Room needs to be made or chaos and tension result. When I choose what He can give me, I am never satisfied. Something is always wrong or not enough and the desire remains insatiable. Do I want tension, chaos and anger or do I want the peace that comes from choosing Him? His peace may not make sense in the midst of trials, but in Him I can let go of the tension, chaos and anger. Why carry all that and your circumstances? Why carry any of it at all?

As you lift up prayers to God today, ask yourself, "Am I seeking Him for Him, or am I seeking Him for what He can do for me?"

Monica

Entitlement: Somebody Pays the Price

"...incomparable riches of His grace..." - Ephesians 2:7
"...the fullness of Him who fills everything in every way." - Ephesians 1:23
"...His incomparably great power for us who believe." - Ephesians 1:19
"...the riches of His glorious inheritance..." - Ephesians 1:18

What we have in Christ is beyond description, greater than we could ever ask or imagine, fuller, beyond complete, majestic, powerful, and ours by His grace and sacrifice.

"I have been crucified with Christ, it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me" (Galatians 2:20). I love these words because they mean no more entitlement, individuality, working for or earning of the free gift of grace. They give freedom and permission to lay down my constant striving and forcing to make things happen as well as my frustration, despair, envy and need for comparison when they don't happen. There is nothing I can ever do to receive the indescribable.

My parents worked and still work hard to get where they are and have what they have. Most of us do. They were and are faithful, consistent, persistent laborers. Many of us are. But many of us also believe (and act blatantly or subtly) that we are to live a life of entitlement. We expect to have what we want when and how we want it regardless of what it may cost others. God promises us abundance as His children, but we forget about what it cost Him.

I have the opportunity to mentor a group of tween girls and one of them shared how an adult had said something that made her angry. The girl said this adult would now have to earn her respect just like everyone else. I and her teachers explained to her that respect is not to be earned but simply given and that all human beings are to be respected regardless of what they have, don't have, do and don't do. She and her classmates weren't buying it.

I am amazed at how we assume that we are entitled to goodness, respect, abundance and a great life without taking into consideration what it costs to have and maintain it all. We neglect or choose not to respect, acknowledge or give thanks to those who sacrificed and paid the price for us to have freedom and opportunities for good. Studying God's Word this morning reminded me of how I, too take advantage of my parents and others who have worked hard and sacrificed their lives and dreams so that I could have what I have. And not only do I treat others this way, but at times God gets treated this way.

Christ gave up His deity, came as a baby, lived in this world with us, taught the truth despite ridicule and persecution, allowed Himself to be nailed to a cross and die a slow death for the sake of the Father. What He did is the cost of our freedom in Him. Not freedom to do what we want when and how we want, but freedom from situations, relationships, actions that can destroy us or keep us from being the great people He created us to be - people who honor and worship Him. In Him we are entitled, but not to our worldly ideas, plans, purposes, desires or ideas of what we think we deserve. In Him we have the capability to go before the Lord and worship Him.   In Him we can know unspeakable joy, beauty and power. In Him we can receive a love that is so full, no human can match it. In Him we are entitled to abundance, "incomparable riches," "the fullness of Him," "His incomparable great power," " the riches of His glorious inheritance," not for our own purposes, but for fulfilling the abundant and glorious life we can have in Him.

By His grace, His power, His mercy, His cost we are entitled. Why? So that we may taste and receive the hope He has for us and to know what cost Him everything and us nothing. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9). This gift of grace entitles us to the fullness and incomparable riches of His glory. It also comes so that we can and choose to worship Him and Him alone versus our own desires, needs and obsessions. He is to be our obsession.

In our own strength and ability, we could never earn what we have been given - access to the Father. And, although we are entitled now by grace, we must not take advantage or assume with arrogance that we got it like that. We are to live in humble confidence knowing that what we have is full, incomparable, costly and more than we can ever imagine or make happen. "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good work, which God prepared in advance for us to do" (Ephesians 2:10). This is what we are entitled to.

Be blessed,
Monica

Dreams Fulfilled = Work + Discomfort

I am going to be transparent in this post, not for the purpose of support or because I think I am all that, but for the sake of giving someone hope.  I did something that I did not want to do and tried to avoid doing only to find myself having done it (Romans 7:15-25).  I have a friend whose voice-mail greeting says, "What you think about you bring about."  These words have been fulfilled!

What I did that I had wanted to avoid was getting myself stuck in a comfort zone.  I have been in this place of comfort for five years and am now at a crossroads.  Thanks to having been jolted out of my safe, comfortable, restful, self-centered world for five weeks (I was caring for someone else who is disabled) I am no longer the same.  God keeps bringing me to this place of choosing because I long to be living the call He has placed on my life.  In order for that to happen, I need to get over myself and do the work.  His work requires me to be uncomfortable and puts me in relationships and situations where He is in control and not me.  For those who are results-driven and perfectionists, not being in control is unsettling to frightening to paralyzing.

To be completely immersed in my God-given calling is the longing of my soul, but being immersed means I can't run when I don't feel like being of use.  I want to be recklessly abandoned to Him, but my head says this is not practical.  Even though God continues to equip me for the call, the final step for complete immersion is up to me.  Unfortunately, I like being comfortable.

Yesterday I had a pity party and this morning I continued it during my prayer time before the Lord.  Waiting on Him is hard because I am used to having a plan and seeing it come to fruition.  Waiting on the Lord to help me live from my soul is driving me bonkers.  What do I do while waiting?  Study some more?  Rewrite something.  Redesign something else.  Wait some more.  Doubt myself and His call.  Wait some more.  Aaargh!!!  Waiting proves who is in control.  It's not me.

The lesson I am learning and relearning is dying to self.  If I want to live, if I want to be recklessly abandoned, if I want to serve Him I must let go completely.  I also must do the work, whether I want to or not.  The fun, rewarding work must get done along with the "drudgery" of the day.  Mundane tasks count.

For excellence and fulfillment to happen, discomfort and movement must come.  We have to let go and stretch in order to reach the next step.  To walk or move, one must leave where they are to get to the next place.  For me to minister to other women and young girls, I must come out of my comfort zone and reach out my hands and heart to them.  I must choose to trust, risk feeling uncomfortable and be comfortable not having control.

Being a disciple requires all of me, not just self-selected parts and times.  God forgive me!

"I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do...For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do - that I keep on doing."  (Romans 7:15, 18-19)

"Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'Whoever wants to be My disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow Me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me will find it.'" ( Matthew 16:24-25)

Thoughts, Revelations & Decisions on Adversity

In John 16:33 Christ tells us that we will have trouble, but we are to remember and be of good cheer because He has overcome the world.  That passage has been stirring in my head for the past few days because I keep trying to figure out how to be in a comfortable and pleasant state doing what I long to do at all times.  There is supposed to be joy there along with peace, fulfillment and abundance.  Jesus promised joy in Him and Paul always encouraged his readers to rejoice in spite of the hardships he endured for the sake of Christ.  What I have missed in their teaching is the lives they really lived on this earth.  They had joy not just in blessings, but also in hardships.  Really?

From my reflections on joy and the adversity and challenges I encounter on a daily basis, I have discovered that there will always be trouble and I should stop looking for a permanent state of bliss and comfort while here on earth.  Instead, I must get over myself and go live the life He has given me.  We can have comfort, peace and joy in this world, but lasting comfort, peace and joy can only come in Christ.  The joy, peace and comfort He promises is meant for now and in the midst of our adversity, not for some desired permanent state in the future.  My lesson learned:  We are not to be kept from adversity; we are to be kept by God in it.  We can choose to dwell on and succumb to adversity or we can choose to dwell on and surrender to Christ, His character, promises and power.  Our adversity is what it is and we have it for the purpose of His glory, not ours.

Throughout the Bible, God has promised to never leave us nor forsake us and He won't (Joshua 1:5).  Life will always have hardship, but our hope can be kept in the promise of who we are (co-heirs, Romans 8:17), Whose we are (God's children, Romans 8:16), and His promise of eternal life (intimacy with Him, John 17:3).

Be blessed,
Monica

Isaiah 43 There is No Other

There is a hard pull or tug-of-war between the should's and the resting because we're supposed to always be doing something versus the oddity of resting in Him because we simply can.  We go continuously because something has to fill our need and simplicity is nonsense and well, too easy.

When do we go and when do we be still?  When will we accept, receive and remain?

Listen.  Get quiet and listen.  What do you hear?  Could it be your soul crying out for more, the good kind of more?  The kind of more that longs to be filled for good? 

Let it speak, for it is His instruction, promise, vision, desire that is to be accomplished in you and through you.

He creates so that He can fill.  Manipulative?  Maybe, but the rewards are like no other - unspeakable joy, unexplainable peace, fulfillment and grace.  

Why go to another when He is like no other?

Stay with Him and be.

Go. Sit. Wait for His Touch

There are two stray cats that live outside my office.  I have been feeding them for about two years and now the male cat comes to love on me and anyone who is a cat lover.  Throughout the day, I see him sleeping in the bushes outside my window or wandering across the parking lot looking for someone to give him a good belly rub. Whenever there is a car coming through the parking lot, he will saunter over to see if the driver, a passenger, someone, or anyone is a cat lover in the vehicle.  He's not picky; just give him a good rub behind the ears, under the chin or on his fluffy belly.  Whatever you can give for however long, works for him.

As I watched him today, I thought of how we seek after love, acceptance and recognition.  How we sometimes and for long periods of time, seek out love in the wrong places or at the wrong time in our lives.  We forget or choose to ignore the ever-present, always available God who sits and waits patiently for us.  He is the only one who will always have a loving touch to give, acceptance and recognition to bestow upon us.  How many times a day do we drop what we are doing to seek His loving touch, His gracious words of love, His provision and care, His true and reliable companionship? He promises in Jeremiah 29:13 that He will be found when we seek Him with our whole heart.

Today, I chose to take time throughout the day to seek Him. He has met me every time with His loving touch. Go ahead. Go. Sit. Wait for His touch.


Be blessed,
Monica

Just Try

Last week I was working on an updated version of my website but had run out of site pages to work with. Money is tight, so I thought I would add the pages once I had earned some extra money and then finish the site. Even though I had earned the five free page site as a bonus, I figured it only came with the initial five pages and any additional pages would come with a fee.

About four days went by as I eagerly anticipated a few extra dollars coming in.  While waiting, I decided to check the price of additional pages only to discover that all I had to do was to click on "Add Pages" and I would have what I needed. Duh! I laughed at myself and thanked God for the lesson on trying. All I could hear in my head at the time was, "Just try."

This may be a simple message, but it is one that God has proven several times over this week.  I have been challenged with building and marketing a new business with little to no money and every small step taken has proven fruitful.  Each small step has resulted in big, unexpected solutions, ideas and responses to prayer. Just as Jesus took two small fish and five loaves of bread to feed thousands, He has taken my small steps of intention and inquiry and provided abundance.

Many of us look for abundance and provision in our everyday needs and desires with specific expectations. But God has a way of showing up and showing off in ways we may never imagine on our own.  He will give us answers to prayer for abundance or need, but we have to be open to His presence and the likelihood that He will meet us in a surprising way.

If there is something you long to have, do or be, but are afraid to take a step, do it anyway. I know it is easier said than done, but take this suggestion from someone who has struggled with self-esteem, value and worth her entire life. God really does love us and He really does want to bless us.  It's okay to be uncertain or afraid, but know that a simple step may be the opening God was waiting for you to give Him so that your efforts could be multiplied. Step out. Reach out. Just try.

Be blessed,
Monica

Changing My Story

Back in January, I watched Oprah interview Viola Davis just before the Oscars. Davis shared her personal story of growing up poor in Rhode Island and the struggles she had with being a member of the only black family in her town. Much of her story resembled mine. She reminded me of a deep sadness I had growing up of never being good enough or being perceived as ugly or stupid. Every day I was challenged to prove myself to be better or just as good as everyone else around me.

Since this interview, God has perked up my ears so that several times a week I have come across an interview, an article, book or seminar about life stories. The stories we have been telling ourselves or telling others about ourselves have brought us to where we are in our lives today. For some that can be a great place and for others, not so great. Some of our stories have been beautiful and true, others have been painful lies.

This process has helped me discover and listen for the stories I have been telling myself over the years. Many of them have been downright lies, painful truths and stories that really belong to someone else. I discovered that I no longer have to tell myself these stories and that I can tell and live different stories. Along with God's Word, I need to speak words to myself that are life-giving, edifying, encouraging and empowering.

Today it is time for new stories to be told about my physical appearance and weight, my life's purpose and vocation, my dreams and goals, my true worth and beauty. It is time for me to receive and be all that God has for me. It is time for me to let go of the stories that no longer work and speak that I am beautiful, powerful, strong courageous, passionate, compassionate, loving, worthy, bold and confident.

As God says in Isaiah 43;18-19, "forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

I am looking forward to the new things that God is and will be doing in my life. Some changes will be painful and some will require me to take risks, but knowing they could lead me to fulfilling my God-designed life and purpose, makes changing my stories worthwhile.

Perhaps God has new stories of truth about your value and worth as well as the plans He has for you. Why not take the time to listen to the words you say about yourself to yourself and to others. Slight changes of positive truth could lead you to a better place of joy, truth, freedom and whatever else God has in store for you. I encourage you to try.

Be blessed,

Monica

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come." 2 Corinthians 5:17

Not Yet Time

Are your plans God's plans or are they your wants? Is that project you are working on His or is it something you are doing because you want the end result to be a certain way? We are used to things in life being in our hands, in our control and working as planned. Past experience of waiting on God takes too long and the end result never comes, it shows up and we don't want it anymore, or it turns out to be totally different and we don't know what to do with it.

We strive to live 24/7 to achieve the "shoulds" in life. Controlling our plans leaves us exhausted. We work to keep our eyes and hands on every body and every thing involved. If we don't, one slip could cause our plans to tumble and fall. Then we would be left with nothing, or so we believe.

With all the work we have put into our plans and the fruition of our desires, we have a hard time understanding times of waiting on the Lord. When we have had confirmations, been commissioned, received visions and support from others but are not seeing the desired results, we become fearful, frustrated, angry, uncertain and disappointed. There is a possibility that what we want may not happen. Yet, we want what we want when we want it, especially if we have worked hard for it.

Life with Christ is the exact opposite. What would happen if we didn't hold on tightly? What would happen if we decided we wanted something but did not plan or set goals for it? What would happen if we just trusted God to bring our desire to pass in His own time? After all, He claims He is in control and nothing happens without His knowledge. If we were to accept that, then what do we do in the meantime? Surely there has to be something for us to do because, well, we're supposed to be doing something all the time. If we aren't, then we're lazy. Besides, God would not and could not give us the dreams in our hearts if we did not help Him or take control of the plans. Or could He?

The Bible is full of characters who took matters into their own hands because of unbelief, impatience, and/or peer pressure. We have Abraham and Sarah who decided to have a baby through Sarah's maid instead of waiting for God's timing for their son, Isaac. There is Peter who rebukes Jesus when He declares His impending death, not understanding that Christ's purpose was death.

In these instances and our own circumstances, if we look we will see that our waiting is simply because it is not yet time. I am learning that life is not about all we can get, do or be. We were created to live in relationship with God. Period. Our getting, doing and being are by-products of that relationship, not its purpose.

Waiting is not the norm in this world. Being still is equated with laziness. Yet, being still in the Lord, even while we are in the midst of an activity or in time alone with Him, gives us the ability to receive and manage the fruition of our plans, dreams and desires when they do come. Waiting is frightening because we are used to going and afraid of what people will think if we are not. But being still is sweeter. The peace of God is in that place of waiting. The presence of God is in that place of waiting. The answers, the truth and the path to take are in our waiting.

When done for the Lord's sake, our waiting will never be in vain.

Be blessed,

Monica

"Be still, and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10

Obeying God's Nudges

Sometimes you just don't know. Sometimes God surprises you when you least expect it, but what He surprises us with is oftentimes an answer to prayer. We can never know when or how God will answer our prayers, but we can trust that He will.

I am finding that when I obey His nudges and do what He is urging me to do, a prayer is answered. Last week I had been praying for direction and assistance for my business. On Sunday morning, God kept nudging me to attend a different church for service and worship. I scrambled to get ready and arrived at what I thought would be late. But God always knows who and what we need when we need them. Throughout the service He answered prayers and provided an opportunity to worship and fellowship with new and seasoned friends.

I have read that it is important to be open to and aware of God's presence, being in a statement of expectation. He always comes in unexpected ways which may be why the Bible says we should be ready in and out of season. This passage was meant to remind us of the importance of being prepared to share the Gospel at any time as we may be brought before someone who needs to hear it. I also think this passage means that we should always be prepared for God to speak to and live through us.

What an honor it is knowing that God wants to meet us and be with us at all times. What an even greater honor to know that He will always be found when we choose to seek Him. Finding Him in the details of my day is where my joy is. Seeing how He meets me is a delight and knowing that He wants to always leaves me in awe.

I am often asked how I could be so in love with Jesus. My answer is that it took a long time and took me making the decision to believe Him. I am no where near perfect and there are moments of every day where I allow fear, worry and unbelief to settle in. But God is good and He has a way of reminding me of His goodness. I then have to decide if I want to stay in a place of turmoil or do I want what He has for me instead.

My experience may seem silly, but I have and am living in a better place emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I have lived in the dark hole of depression and despair. I have spent months and years in oppressive depression, tension, anger and frustration. It is by the grace and power of God working in and through me that I am able to experience relief, healing and freedom from the pain of darkness.

Everyone's journey is different, but God is the same all the time. He is and always will be present, providing, directing, correcting and loving. We have to decide if we want to believe Him, receive Him and follow His nudges.

Be blessed.

Monica

Why Would and How Could He Love Me?

God loves me. I know this, not just because the Bible says so, but because He has said so. He has whispered answers to prayers in the midst of my struggles and laying down of burdens. He has placed delightful surprises in the midst of my cares and concerns. He has led me to Scripture verses that spoke what I mean to Him.

When I ask Him why He answers, "Because I want to. Because I can no matter what you believe you are. Because My heart melts when I look at you. I know you don't understand why or how, and that's okay. There are things I do that you will never grasp, so sometimes you will have to let go of your need for understanding and just accept that I do what I do.

As My child, you are much more than you believe yourself to be. I know this is hard for you to receive or believe, but someday you will. I tell you, don't worry about when or how, because it is something that only I can work in and through you. The only thing you can do is let go. Your belief and understanding will come in My time and in My way.

You are in My hands and on this earth because I want you to do and be something for Me. I know you are struggling and the tension and oppression are often too strong to bear. Living is difficult when you don't know why you are here or what you are supposed to do. Know that I am taking care of everything and in due time, you will know and see your why's answered.

I am asking you to endure in trust and patience. I know it's hard and I know you don't know how much more you can take. Take a deep breath; and then one more. Now lean on Me one more time.

I know these words are hard to receive, but know that I do love you because I want to. In the same way you seek companionship, love and intimacy with another, I seek companionship, love and intimacy with you."

On the days when I don't know what I am to be doing or where I am supposed to be on this journey, I listen for God. Even if I can't see or receive His words, I can take a deep breath and go one step further.

When you can't see or don't understand, please stop and listen. I promise He will whisper something good.

In Him,

Monica

To Follow - Lay Down and Deny

For the past few days I have been stuck on Matthew 16:24 where Christ tells us that if anyone wants to follow Him, they must deny themselves and take up their cross. Each day I ask myself a different question that comes to mind after I read this verse. Christ's instruction to deny ourselves and associate with Him requires a willingness that at times, cannot be fathomed. Sometimes we have to accept that we will never understand the depths we must go in order to serve Him. No matter what, we must go.

When Jesus says I must deny myself in order to follow Him, I discover that this may require me to let go of dreams, desires and even the fulfillment of some needs. But as I do this, I discover that greater works are accomplished because I have decreased - gotten out of His way - so that His plans can be fulfilled. I may play a part in fulfilling those plans, but the greater result could only come from Him.

This journey of denying ourselves and taking up our crosses for Christ can leave us bombarded with choices that may fulfill opportunities in this world. Do we go by the world's standards for fulfillment or Christ's? Do we do what is good or do we do what is beneficial for God, others and ourselves?

My choice to follow Christ has brought me under alignment with the calling/purpose/place He has created for me as a disciple. I have been in this place for some time and it feels huge, wide open and a blur because there is so much possibility and great potential. At times, this place can be overwhelming, to the point that I have been uncertain as to which steps to take next. So I take small steps in different directions, which for someone who likes to have everything clear and in place, this is chaotic. This often comes with an uneasy feeling as I am afraid my ducks are not in a row, I will miss something and someone will be disappointed.

I want to do so much for the Lord. I want to feed His sheep through words that inspire, bring new life and transform. My heart wants Him delighted and His children devoted to Him. My prayer is that I will be a vessel that makes a difference day in and day out. May He inhabit me so that I am a form of light, comfort, beauty and grace in the midst of the world's turmoil. This is not for my recognition but for His. I have never known a love like His and everyone should have this for themselves. There is nothing like it!

I pray you will seek Him and answer His call, that deep longing within your heart. Know that there are many who have made the choice to take up their cross and that you will not be alone. Be encouraged and take the step forward into Him.

Monica

Comparison and Calling

Why do we spend time comparing ourselves to each other? What on earth do we each have that the other wants bad enough to do almost anything to have it? We spend money on clothes, beauty products and other material items. We go to conference after conference, buy book after book hoping for the key that will unlock exactly what we want or the true path to achieving it all. We drive ourselves crazy and in some cases become obsessed with getting who and/or what we want at any cost.

Is this comparison frenzy worth the cost? Is it worth going to jail for? Is it worth getting into debt? Is the physical and/or emotional pain due to loss, heartbreak, or change worth it? When you achieve or receive what you want, are you pleased, happy, overjoyed, or are you overwhelmed, disappointed, scared? What do you do after you have what you want? What's next to chase after?

For me, comparison has been an enemy all of my life. It has kept me from moving forward to try new things, speak the truth when the situation arises, stand strong for myself and pursue dreams. When I compare myself to someone else who looks the way I would like to or is doing something that I long to do, I work myself into an anxious place because I know I can do what they are doing or look the way they look. I think it is in my ability to achieve and have what they have and if I just work a little harder, discipline myself a little more, I know I can get there. The solution will come. God said all things are possible, so there has to be a way.

I forget that I was created in His image for His purposes, not mine. When the Apostle Peter asks Jesus what would happen to the Apostle John, Jesus said, "...what is that to you?!...You must follow Me"(Jn 21:20,22). To achieve the deep longings within, longings that come from Jesus in me, I have to keep my eyes on Him. He calls each of us to feed His sheep, not measure up to or out do them.

Instead of focusing on what other people are called to do, I must focus on the Lord and the plan He has for me. I am to remain faithful to the call He has placed on my life, not the one He placed on someone else. I can still learn from others because we all have something good to offer each other. But I must remember that my uniqueness has a purpose, and it is His.

Remembering that I am chosen, a co-heir, predestined for a particular work that He works through me, helps me get back on track. As I faithfully use the gifts and talents He has given me, I find that opportunities arise where I get to do what I long to do and be who I long to be. I trust Him instead of what others have to say about getting ahead. He opens doors that no human being could open on their own.

All things are possible, but only with God. We have to choose who we will follow and at what cost.

Monica

Several years ago, I took a New Testament class at my church. This class was taught by a woman who knew more about the Bible than I could ever imagine. She offered great insight and knowledge during our classes and there were times when I wondered if she and I were reading the same Book.

At the time I was taking this class, I was also trying to start my own business and really wanted my father's help. Unfortunately, he did not want to support me in this venture and believed it would not work. My father has always been my hero and my standard for success. I idolized him and wanted him to always be proud of me. To have him not support something that I knew I was called to do was heartbreaking. How could I honor my earthly father and be obedient to God at the same time?

One evening we were studying the Song of Songs in my class and for some reason, no one was paying attention. We were in the gymnasium for class and it was really cold and we all were ready to go home. As the teacher wrapped up she said she wanted to give us her interpretation of the last three verses of Song of Songs. She said she might get in trouble for sharing her view about what God was saying to His beloved, but she felt it needed to be said. Her words were,
"Oh, don't look at Me with those big, beautiful brown eyes of yours! For when you look up at Me, My heart just melts. I love you so much, I just want to give you the world!"

Those were God's healing words to me. He knew I needed to hear and know Him for myself. In essence He was saying, "Monica, I want to give you the world. Your earthly father cannot give you what I can. He can't be your provider, cheerleader, source of wisdom, discernment, finances, instruction and direction the way I can. Only I can be your Strength and the One who fills all of your needs to the full. I want to do this for you. I have so much for you and I love you with an everlasting love, a love no one else has for you."

Even though this happened several years ago, every time I think about that moment, God reminds me of His promises and always reveals something new about Himself to me. From this lesson, I was given eyes to see my earthly father as a human being instead of an idol.

I am excited and humbled by the fact that God wants to be with me and care for me. He wants to do and be the same for you. Will you let Him?

To Him be all the glory and honor!

Monica