Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Constant Surrender

"And He said, 'Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me; nevertheless, not what I will, but thou wilt.'" (Mark 14:36, KJV)

"Lord, I am delighted to obey You in this." Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

Could you say those words to God? Could you lay down your life in pure devotion to Him? I look at those words and realize that I don't know if I could do it His way. In all those times I have told the Lord I loved Him and would serve Him, rarely do I consider that those moments of devotion would ever take me to such a place of sacrifice. Could I really allow God to make me "broken bread and poured out wine" as Oswald Chambers says? My soul longs to do that and there is a hunger in my spirit that wants to reach the masses of unloved, hungry children of the Lord. Yet could I give up my comfort zone to step into the enemy's war zone? I search within me to see if the words "no greater love" are part of my being.

I am madly deeply in love with my Lord, but as I begin to understand the true cost of discipleship I realize I am no where near ready to let go of my comforts. I don't know that I could lift a dying human out of a literal gutter and clean the worms off his body like Mother Teresa did. And there are even days when I don't want to serve within my safe comfort zone. But my heart and soul long to love. There are so many safe ways that we can serve our Lord, but the hunger and need for Him in this world is greater than our comfort zones. The question to ask is, "Do I love You enough Lord to feed Your sheep regardless of who and where they are just as You have commanded?"

There is no way for me to live my life fully surrendered and available without the power and grace of God. Who I am to serve and love is up to Him. True surrender isn't allowing God to use me, but letting go of my self knowing that God will use me in situations that I would not choose and with people that I may not be comfortable with. A choice must be made every day; do I serve Him or do I run? If I have my way, I may run, but as a chosen child of God, I have to trust Him in all things at all times. If I run, I run from the One Who allowed Himself to be nailed to a cross to die a slow death out of love for me.

Keep me surrendered Lord. Help me live Your greatest commandment. Change me from within so that I am available for You to use when and wherever You choose. Help me remember that my life is not for me but for You. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.

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